Well, day one of our self inflicted hibernation is behind us. It could have been worse. We didn’t kill each other! Maya downloaded and “attended” her first online class. Chris was at his desk trying to keep Volta “charging forward”. Noah stayed in his room mostly to FaceTime with friends and play some games. Eva embarked on a drawing project she learned on Tik Tok and created a few Tik Toks herself. They have stuff to keep them busy for now.
Not an Empty Nester Anymore: My role is still being defined…but I realize I am back to heading up a household after only just getting my groove as an empty nester-it is already exhausting. I made a few calls with girlfriends around the globe who are also dealing with cooped up kids… (my friend on lockdown in Vienna but her son is stuck in San Diego, my friend in London where schools are still open(!) and finally a call with my BFF, who is going through similar emotions as I am (alternating between anger, anxiety, stress, and sadness). At 10am called in on FaceTime to join a coach’s meeting at Wine Country Crossfit. Our gym is still open for business, with a lot of hand washing and equipment wipe downs. We are lucky in that it is well-ventilated (one benefit of being in a warehouse) and it is very possible to keep your personal space while doing a crossfit work-out. If people ask my advice, I tell them to go ahead but proceed with caution. I hope we can stay open for a bit longer, but I wonder if Napa is next for a complete shut down. Around 11:30am I headed out for another supermarket run as we heard a rumor that the 12pm press conference would announce a nation-wide quarantine (turned out to be just the Bay Area and not Napa). Target was crowded but not a madhouse, and people seemed calm. I got everything I needed but I didn’t even bother visiting the toilet paper aisle. I did get 6 boxes of sugar cereal. I admit that Captain Crunch Berries is what I ate on the night of the 2016 election when things didn’t turn out quite the way we had hoped! Everyone is talking about getting fat from eating their quarantine food, but I don’t have an appetite at all yet. No desire to drink either. It’s very unlike me to not be thinking about food all the time or to be craving a cocktail.
My Target loot…new laundry baskets to accommodate the additional laundry-ugh.
Our first family dinner: Chris tried to be quite cheerful and upbeat…and he is happy to be surrounded by his kids who are home. It is challenging to be cheerful right now but we have to try. Inevitably we began talking about the news and every conversation was dominated by Cornavirus stuff. At one point Maya said, “Can we please talk about something else…anything but Covid 19?”…so we genuinely tried but its practically impossible. I was thinking about how to change the tone for future dinners and I have decided to have a box of Conversation Starters on the table. Maybe we can talk about happy memories and funny “would you rather” topics. Maybe we can watch a movie together one night and keep that for a film discussion at dinner the next night. Talking only about Corona Virus and the woes of the economy is going to get depressing fast.
She is thrilled about the house rules.
The Family Meeting: We told the kids we would have a family meeting to discuss how we would live in peace over the next weeks. Throughout the day I brainstormed a lot of ideas, trying to think of all the things that might cause tension, and put them onto a whiteboard which I presented after dinner. The first thing I said is, “ Ok, you guys are pretty much adults now. We are still a family but we are also a community -this is going to be like living with housemates. To make things smooth we have to take care of the communal spaces and be respectful. We are all sad, making sacrifices, and disappointed in how things are right now. At least we are together and we have a nice home, outdoor space, plenty of food, and we even have home gym. Things are tough but we have a lot to be grateful for.” Then I proceeded to go over some of the discussion points on the whiteboard. I might as well write them out here, so we have a public record for when we start clawing each others eyes out. At least we tried!
What is the quarantine, why and how long? We decided to stay in our own hibernation for 14 days since four of the five of us had flown in recently from Boston, Washington DC, and Mexico. Chris has been working in the San Francisco office. Since Napa has no known cases, we want to make sure we won’t unknowingly be spreading the virus. We are also not allowed to visit Chris’ 75 year old mom, and that is tough. We do not know yet what happens after 14 days…we will have a meeting on Day 12 and decide then…assuming we do not get sick before that. Since so many in Napa are not staying home, it makes it scary to venture out.
Cleaning…we will not be able to have our housekeeper during these two weeks but we will pay her. We talked about how often they will wash bed linens and towels. I suggested once a week and they all thought I was crazy! Communal spaces are to be kept tidy and uncluttered. Rooms to be kept neat and if we have to hold weekly inspections, we will. That got a bit of a laugh.
Meals and food: Snacks should be portioned onto a separate plate, don’t just stick your hand into a bag of chips and leave it open in the pantry. No eating in bedrooms. Try to eat perishables first.
Internet. Sadly ours is not super fast or stable since we are out just beyond the line to get Xfinity (bummer!) So we need everyone to post their essential internet use on the family calendar on iCal, including live classes and conference calls, which have priority over Peloton, Netflix and Gaming.
Health. We talked about how sleeping, exercise, reducing stress, and nutrition are huge for boosting the immune system. We want everyone to move daily and go outside. Encouraging dog walks, runs, and hikes. Aiming for a little less screen time and perhaps family game night on Saturdays. I am glad we have Codenames to play (thanks to our NYC friends who introduced us to that fun game!) Since everyone has an early start with online classes, we are hoping for lights out at 11pm…and here I am writing this at 11:14!
